silhouette of man at daytime

Podcast Episode: Where to begin, Yoga or Meditation?

Blog, Hungry For Apples Podcast, Self Mastery
blue universe
Photo by Felix Mittermeier on

When we look at this with the BEGINNER’S mind- there’s a particular notion that must be fulfilled- the WHERE to begin part. I totally understand this and did my best to look at it from there, although I do know that I tend to get a little complicated at times so if a question comes up, let me know.

For now I am looking at this as a part of my

Yoga for Beginners Series

Thank you for taking the time to listen, the episode is below

man meditating in the middle of pathway

Yoga & Meditation for Beginners on my podcast

Blog, Hungry For Apples Podcast, Self Mastery
woman wearing white dress standing outdoor
Photo by Lucas Pezeta on

The last couple weeks I have started this series I am creating for beginners to Yoga &/or Meditation on Hungry For Apples Podcast (although as you’ll find out right away I am going to lean on “Yoga” even though there is a major parallel definition).

Let me know if you have any questions or want me to go over anything- when you listen to the podcast, every time I say how to do this…

Thank you for listening!

Here are those episodes:

Meditation for Beginners

The Yogic Approach

If you like those, you’ll for sure like this one-
Ten Tips For a More Conscious Life

Our most popular episode-
SoHam Breathing for Beginners

Art by Faern- picturing red triangles on ocean as representation of the godess

Mother Goddess Energy

Blog, Self Mastery

I had no idea how far back this all went…

Art by Faern- picturing red triangles on ocean as representation of the godess

What is “Mother Goddess” Energy?

She is the wind behind the heat of the sun
The churning of the ocean waters
The Speed of the lightning
The pressure Expelling the Power of the Volcano
The Light Reflecting Onto the Moon

About a year ago now I was taking apart any ritual like activity I was doing. Some because I felt as though they were placed without a greater understanding and others based on different attachments and so on. To me, RITUAL is important- there’s an implied repetition in which you can spend time with all of the parts of this Ritual and get to know it well- deeply as they say. You form your days AROUND them.

Think about that for a second- the day forms AROUND “it”.

What is this “it”?
Do you work for it?
How do we know it is there?

This isn’t to say that I was “having doubts” about the things I know further than tagging this “belief” word onto them- those that get put in the UN-quantifiable category. Not that-
What WAS happening was unwinding of things closest to my heart- those which might have been overlooked in the first five thousand microscopic views of my life or even those things I have “just been doing for so long”. None of this has been easy- but, after a while I realized I walked exactly in the opposite direction at some point recently enough that is had impact for me – I had been given a particular set of signs and well, missed the mark.

What was happening in real time was a deep loss of interest- in pretty much anything. I could not muster up any tactile experience that wasn’t mechanical at best- let it be an art medium, Yogasana, reading / learning of anything was forced which wasn’t really doing anything either.

I stopped doing EVERYTHING and waited. Except Asana and meditations – but these were highly mechanical and felt like those times you eat because you know you haven’t had enough nutrients for a certain amount of time. A clear mechanical deposit into the “bank”.

Outside of our realm the concept of time is arranged differently- so this waiting took on a whole other meaning to me. It was as if I were screaming into a bucket of water but without any action what so ever- it became EERIE to say the least. I tested things out, finding myself walking away over and over, leaving brushes to be ruined, glues to harden and all that fun stuff.
Something you should know about me, if you don’t already, is I make things, having my hands busy has been an integral part of my life and to simply lose interest one day is not something I had even fathomed could happen- let alone what I would do if it did. You see, to be making something was protection to me and after oh-so-many years the need for this protection had been removed and I never really re-evaluated all the way down to my bones, let alone my “energy source”. I created. A Lot. I still can, but I wont unless there’s a particular sense about it- this divide didn’t happen over night, I don’t even think I noticed until I blinked one day and realized the whole damn thing was gone.
The through line had been snipped. Did I do that? What is happening here?
I don’t work with “muses” and I often haven’t even needed to be”inspired” as log as there was a project or art series I was fine. THIS ultimately is similar to creating a GIANT PILE of art and placing each one behind you. People coming in say “oh wow look at all the art” and you think ‘oh that’ or some other such nonsense. What is the point of that?

You see, this is what I did
but it translates as


and I didn’t even notice.

This was all so unbelievably interesting- I hadn’t actually planned to START this series of stories here but here we are. Creation energy- without children involved is creative energy, healing energy and they call it sexual energy as well. SO if one were to be taking for granted the items of creation (the Art in my case) then one just might be totally blocked from this energy or source of it in our bodies, our lived and spirit. I have struggled enough with feminine energy that the fact I missed this part of the connection to this particular earth energy is interesting to me. I remember a teacher once saying “we have not all had that quintessential mother figure but it exists” and I took that to heart. Without getting into my relationship with my mom, right away there is something off here. Keep in mind, I could be quoting it wrong- either way it overlooks that even if you had THE BEST MOM EVER- is this really, truly THE quintessential GODDESS figure? I’m leaning on no. Just in case you are wondering, no I do not have kids. This is another one of those weird limitations people are projecting onto others.

“Mother Goddess” energy is in everything- without is there would be no action as far as I can tell. Some will refer to creative energy, some sexual- it really depends on where the information comes from. Lately I have been looking into Hindu, Vedic and everything related to this historically as it related to Yoga for the most part. This has given me a breath of fresh air in how I look at things in my day to day life- a lot of this has been review but also who cares!

Because of this “mothery” association I had without realizing it lumped away this energy because many of the people who did me serious harm when I was a young girl were supposed to be looking after me. I believe this is why I ended up eventually staying with my grandparents most- it was the safe place. So many great stories about this, but it will take us away from our goal talking point- or points.

How does one who didn’t have “that” mom (& does this ever matter anyways?), didn’t have feminine examples of power to see or rather, these very power people hurt her- ok so -how does one create a connections, or rather FIND IT again when it seems just that far off? you know? Do they stop at an ideal? This wasn’t enough for me. As a part of my realization I knew I could have a more tangible resource- I also knew I cannot argue with how It is delivered once I am looking for it in this way. So I started on some kind of a path- or rather, went BACK to one from a few years ago which I was avoidant of.
When I started down this specific thread it went back to the womb, I don’t mean to say that thing but hey I felt like I went so far down the rabbit hole of sensations and memories without words and threads of awareness that it just is what it is. All this REALLY means is, I went ALL THE WAY BACK felt my way though via sensations- often unidentifiable and some had these weird memories attached like the first time I crunched snow under my feet, or wet cement with fall leaves on it that aren’t of the trees where I lived- but the scent was intoxicating, familiar and experiential.

Without getting into all the ins and outs of my personal experience- this was a LOT to turn around. Sure I know, we all have different ways of doing things, I just hadn’t seen, maybe I wasn’t ever presented with the information – even if I was, I obviously had to go about this my own route like all the things. For me though, I am sticking on this YOGA path- I will share with you soon about my experiences with “New Age Spirituality”.

close up shot of a hindu goddess
Photo by Kolkatar Chobiwala on

For now though, this path is SO VAST I am eternally grateful for it for I found my way back to MA in the most honest way I could have done- I lost myself in order to find her within.

She came when I called, even when I couldn’t see her. This went on over some time- with certain cues from studies, awareness of my sensational intermingling with nature and some dreams I found my way.

What are we talking about here EXACTLY?

A point of focus, in a way.
An energy.
But so much more than that. Remember, I am not Hindu- but this is the closest representation of what I have felt and experienced. I will continue to investigate and share what I find.

Art by Faern- picturing red triangles on ocean as representation of the godess

What is “Mother Goddess” Energy?

She is the wind behind the heat of the sun
The churning of the ocean waters
The speed of the lightning
The pressure expelling the power of the volcano

The light reflecting onto the moon

This piece of art here to the right- also the main image of this post- is something from a dream. A major part of what shifted my awareness in this way is my interaction with the Sri Yantra. YES this image is merely a triangle- this red triangle is the closest and most simple representation of MA understanding that you cannot actually render an accurate representation. This is from a dream, yes, so that is how it came to be- no different than when I worked through my second Yoga Teacher Training and at 4 am i was being awoken by a drum in my dreams- as it turned out it was pictured in images of Siva. I cannot actually explain these things except to say this is my experience. If I wanted such a thing to happen I assure you something else would indeed take it’s place.

11 11

What I am sharing is no different than a reverence to

The Earth

blue and gray moon during nighttime
Photo by Jaymantri on


black smoke coming from fire
Photo by Pixabay on


water droplet in shallow photo
Photo by Pixabay on

& so on…

to me, this isn’t a “calming” energy- it is the existence which presents this essence

The colors in the dream changed a few times. The image to the left is the first set of colors I worked with- while I do enjoy this energy, to me it feels too playful- as a friend described it “Dolphin Energy”. Do not get me wrong, there is value in this, I am not putting down dolphins. In fact- the first drawing contest I won an award in I won for drawing dolphins, amongst some other sea creatures.

But this ‘MaaTaa’ energy I am talking about is not that.

How does one find their connection?

Honestly- I can only speak on MY experience as someone whom created an abundance of restriction. I am also not Hindu- so I will be careful to not create a watered down version from my understanding and pass it off as a REAL & HONORABLE teaching outside of that scope. This scope is Yoga, obviously, but I am also a highly energy aware person with a background in a few things including Art & Anthropology. I have spent a lot of years prior to “Spiritual Pursuits” figuring out how to change my view, shift my lens or at the very least- turn it upside down in order to make sure my attempt to see isn’t rigid but expansive.

How does someone find their connection?
Well, if there is a lot of resistance in certain areas and for some reason you keep coming back to the same place- there is somewhere to start because you return as if it already IS a “practice” so you might as well see why, or try to see, begin asking questions.

IF resistance is NOT the top of your list- then you look to see what draws your attention in a way which is indescribable. Look into every single detail you can find- from colors to shapes to scents to types of earth or water or fire.

Remember- from a Yoga focus, we would be looking at the body. During meditation for example- does a particular chakra call your attention enough that you know it’s a pattern to look at?

Please note- this isn’t necessarily the best place for a person new to all of this. It is recommended you have extensive meditation and breathing practices before diving into this energy.

ALSO many of the practices which are related require initiation, something I do not feel I would have access to but I definitely do not know this as a fact. This does not block me from any of the things I have shared, the restriction is in between the lines and can’t even possibly be expounded upon without proper instruction- you wouldn’t even be able to see them and neither can I. HOWEVER if you are a human on earth- you can and do connect to Mother Goddess energy.

How do I cultivate it?

This will depend on how you approach spirituality as a whole. Participating in practices is similar to saving in a bank- but participation without concentration will not provide for the “same” experience as one who is fully in focus. This does take time- so keep in mind everyone will go through a time where you feel like you’re watching it all vs PARTICIPATING.

For me, this is a beginning

close up shot of a hindu goddess
Photo by Kolkatar Chobiwala on

Everything is within- and when I say everything, I really mean everything. The best way I can say to develop this kind of relationship with the energies and dimensions around you is very similar to cultivating a relationship with your “Guides”. The biggest difference is the focus- the guides are outward facing while MA is inward facing. I could write a whole other post on this part but everyone has both, how they view it or interact with everything can be drastically different.

I honestly didn’t think I could connect with this energy- ever.
So if you think that- I can tell you I was able to honestly shift into this perspective- I didn’t even know it was happening at first.
Then I witnessed it.

Don’t lose hope!

purple flowers
Photo by Lisa Fotios on

Thank you for reading & keep an eye out for follow up posts.

photo of vegetable salad in bowls

Hungry for Apples Podcast episode: Is Wellness Culture Based On Myth?

Blog, Hungry For Apples Podcast, Self Mastery

In this most recent episode of Hungry for Apples Podcast I am having an open conversation with you about some of my personal experiences in the “Wellness World”. I am also wondering about how – in what seems to me a very short time- things went from wellness to conspiracy even though the whole “snake oil” thing has always been a part of the game- the grifter seems to have now taken center stage leaning on what seems to me the natural attachment of the human to a myth.

How do you feel about all of this? Do you have something you would like to share? EMAIL Faern at the email she says when you listen to the podcast….

here’s the episode…

Thanks for listening,

Hungry For Apples Podcast episode: Conscientious Conscious Observer of the Self

Hungry For Apples Podcast, Self Mastery

In this episode I am sharing a method for a very energy aware human to create a personal awareness of how they interact physically with their surroundings- often from an unconscious action. It is a way to “roll back” responses or become aware of this happening with your body. These very responses are the energy aware human’s best friend. They are unique to the individual- and as long as your brain can connect cause and effect, you can figure out your best way to read these responses. I am no doc, this is obvious, but I am highly energy aware and have put these things into action in my life and it has helped me a lot.
Please feel free to email the podcast if you have any questions about this.


Energized Oct 2022

Blog, Self Mastery

New Octave Achieved

Sound Your Note

I read that in a book somewhere sometime over the last couple years. Saying the “last couple years” used to feel so vague- but now, and not with age mind you, it is very specific. The Pandemonium years. The New Age explosion. The myth years. The years where some people found out that their individuality isn’t going to “save” them, when others actually had that happen- in a sense.
Whatever happened- is likely still happening.

It’s from Buddhism, the sounding your note idea, but I am not Buddhist so I cannot really teach it from knowing, only what I have experienced or understood. It is a beautiful sentiment / understanding about our individual nature but also how we interact with the world around us.

This year in particular- these 2’s- I have been focusing on what that all means for me now that I more fully understand where I am in this body of mine, even if I am still unsure of where I am in the direct neighborhood community- as far as where I can offer what I can offer. I have been more attuned to bringing forward a more complete understanding of our Energy Sheath and how we all interact with Atmospheric Interference.

“WOW what an introductory share here Faern”
I know I know….

For the most part I am going to share in this post where I am NOW- but also include some other tide bits of info- I will not make a habit of this type of “blog” as it would make no sense- but for now- it is very nice to meet you- thank you for coming by. To be honest, I don’t have much more to say about this now – except that I am actively changing as fast as things are changing around me if not faster.
If we were to take a cross section of my life- we would be in the “Solar Plexus” area of my body. But we can’t, and that makes zero sense so

…lets move on.

I have an Ebook out there- and I am making Salves, lip balms and some other things which are sometimes available- look at the menu on this site and you’ll see some links. Everything else has been on hold for most of this year- I mean, it’s looking like things are waking up slowly so you probably want to be on my email list or at least get on TikTok.

DO look out for a few things though- I have a NEW FALL SALVE and I will be completing more Crystal Grid sets in the next couple weeks- there ARE meditation sets already available. I have made a small handfull of Rosemary bundles & Cedar, Prairie Sage & Pine bundles for smoke clearing your space- these are specially available to subscribers (see menu above)

This year has flown by

here are all the Hungry For Apples Podcast episodes you missed

Hungry For Apples Podcast Episodes

Thank you for visiting my website and reading this share,

PS. on the image above I wrote
“New Octave Achieved” because I feel as though this is the best way for me to express myself currently- in making sure the words I use are aligned with me to the best of my ability. While I am aware of where my beliefs stand- effective expression is very important to me, but also clarity which seems to be the more challenging part.
My thoughts around “Octave” are in regards to “Vibration” and how our body is working with a set of vibratory effects or interferences. It’s an analogy- If we were to “raise our octave” we would be operating at/with a higher set of notes or vibrational patterns.
This to me feels like a nice way to move through some of the explanations which are not quantifiable but are also not not … um, yeah you got it

BEING human

Blog, Self Mastery

I started a series on my YouTube (please subscribe to it if you aren’t already) where I am doing “Walk & Talk” videos discussing what it’s like BEING human right now and how to function going forward, in a sense. It is an open conversation, although it is basically all my ideas right now.

Ideally it becomes more of a conversation- for now though, I am enjoying making them. I’d love it if you’d check them out and let me know if they are insightful to you in some way- or if you have any input as far as successes in creating any of the things I have brought up.

This is the first one, they really are meant to be heard in order- although I do “recap” in a way, I am not doing that for the most common reasons and this isn’t really a great representation of what has been said. I am doing my best to stay around ten minutes- isn’t that a good length?

The plan here for this blog, is for me to “say more” when I have the ability to do so. It is interesting how it’s so easy to drop something onto social media but for some reason much more challenging to put things here on my very own website. For ME that is going to be one of my steps in arranging my “offering” so to speak (when you watch the videos that will make more sense). At the time that I am writing this- I still have a couple videos to get onto YouTube and then I want to make shorter ones as I have been doing- but energetically there’s going to be a necessary break coming, I can feel it approaching. This will simply shift anything- which is why I haven’t yet created a schedule of these yet- meaning 3 a week or 1 a week on Wednesdays- because I cannot say as of yet what is possible. Right now I am just looking to catch up this blog to the TikTok & the YouTube or rather catch them all up to each other. I know, sounds confusing but there’s a point to this…. I am looking to provide free online classes on certain topics which I will load to YouTube and all the supporting info will end up here- well, the video will too.

If you are interested in any of the things I am talking about in the videos- follow me on TikTok, Subscribe to the YouTube and get on my email list- you can find all of that here->

LinkInBio for Faern

here’s video 2 (even though it says video 1)

Thank you for reading, come back soon.